Divorce Papers Are With the Judge
There it will end, I hope. Once I get my certified copy of the divorce decree, I will be done with the legal parts of divorce and I can finally move on with my life.
I’ve done some moving on already, but it’s been mostly of the emotional variety.
I’m still deciding if I want to sell my house and move into a smaller place, closer to the schools. Otherwise my financial situation is going to require that I put the kids back on the bus instead of driving them, which means I will save a lot of gas and time in which I can work to earn more money, but will lose about an hour and a half of time with the kids each day. That feels significant to me. It’s 1.5 x 5 x 46 = 345 hours a year. That’s a LOT of time lost when I only have a few more years with them before they’ll be driving themselves (if they can afford the transportation).
The ex tried to use the kids in the divorce, filing for full custody himself but in depositions it came out quite clear that he was just doing it because I wasn’t offering him 50% of the time with the kids. The thing is, I want the kids to spend plenty of time with him, but his schedule means the kids wouldn’t even be with him! And yet, he wanted to take them away from me when I would be home to watch them and send them to stay with his mother. I was offended and hurt by that, but I kept it together and emphasized how important I believe it is that kids be raised by their parents and he dropped it amazingly fast. So fast that I know it was just a ploy. He’s had several opportunities now to spend extra time with the kids and he’s "already had plans" and couldn’t do it. Very telling, that is.
He’s always been a good enough father and I do believe he loves the kids as much as he can, but I don’t think he’ll ever be a great father. That makes me sad for my children.
For my finances, this end means I can finally take the steps I need to take to set myself up as securely as possible. I’ll never be entirely secure as long as I depend on an employer to provide my income. My job is looking more unstable than ever, and I estimate I have about 6 more months before it falls apart unless they do something amazing or drastic to keep the business alive.
For me, that means seriously pursuing other income opportunities or jobs. Since I don’t want another job, I have every intention of riding this until the horse falls over dead. :) While, of course, I pursue those income opportunities in the background.
I run some websites online that now make me about $200 or so a month after expenses. I am going to put a lot more effort into them and see what comes of it. I really have nothing to lose because I sure don’t want to spend my spare time looking for another job.
And that’s my latest update.
I’ve accumulated no extra debt. With the divorce, I’ve actually shed quite a bit of the little stuff.
I got the house, and the payment for it.
I got the car, and the payment for it.
I got the student loan, and the payment for it.
I got a bunch of legal bills, and paid for most of them, but I do owe my parents $1,500 that they keep telling me not to worry about until they retire. They’re crazy. I will be paying this off first, because I love them, and that’s what you do, you pay the important people first. I believe that will all my heart.
But those are my debts. He got the remaining credit card balances (2) and he got the RV camper and the payment for it. He got the truck and the payment for it (there was a lot of equity in the truck and 4-wheelers but I got the 401k because of that).
That’s it. Divorce done.
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